The Hapless Hermit

Leave Aurora Snow's Ass Alone!

               

  
   I'm a little disturbed about what's been happening to my porn wife.    If you remember, one of the reasons I'm so attracted to Aurora is her cute, near perfect pale-pink asshole.  It's got the color and texture of Yankee 3rd baseman Alex Rodriguez' purty lips .   She is such a good girl, she never says no.  However, as much as I appreciate her noble efforts of providing me with the raunchiest of visual stimulation of hard, ass-pounding sex, I think it's time for her to stop, at least for a while.  That ass needs a break.  She's done over 400 videos and 150 anal scenes including 6 double anal.  And many of these scenes were orgy/gangbang where she got pentrated by several large cocks.  I'm pro anal sex but with like most things in life, moderation is key.   Let's not ruin a good thing.  That beautiful pink balloon knot needs to be rested and kept in good condition.   Also, all this anal overexposure is taking away from the excitement of her scenes.  It's like when Prince used to release albums every 8 months, only less vulgar.

Internet Adult Film Database listing for Aurora Snow

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Hooker Spotlight: Nasty Patti

Quintessential New York Style Whore/Baglady

   When most hookers/escorts ask a client "Do you want your blow job with or without?" they are usually talking about a condom.  Not Nasty Patti.  When she asks with or without,  she is talking about her teeth.  See, Patti is not a young woman and somewhere along the way, she lost her teeth.  So now as a hooker in New York City, she is able to offer blow jobs with her dentures on or the client can choose to have her gum it without them. 

 

Besides her teeth, her hair tends to fall out as well, so she may show up at a client's hotel wearing a wig.   Also, because of decades of drinking very heavily (and who knows what else) she tends to slur her words and is not always intelligible.  Think the drunk stork from the old Warner Bros. cartoons, "A baby's a baby, hiccup!, it's the envirvirvirnament, hiccup!"

 

Her body is also not what some might expect from a callgirl.  Over the years, she put on quite a beer gut, her breasts tend to sag down to her bellybutton and her skin has that cottage cheese texture.  But to be fair, she is somewhere between the ages 55-70 so a young hardbody shouldn't be expected.  However, one has to wonder if she should be working at this profession at this stage in her life.  She has an obvious substance abuse problem, it's uncertain if she has a permanent  residence and she is old enough to get social security.   It's also a good guess that she is probably without health insurance and perhaps not checked out as often as someone in this line of work should be

 

She continues to post her ad on escort sites and guys continue to pay $100 to see her.  This proves two things:  1)A lot of guys out there will fuck anyone.  2)Times are tough and a lot of guys don't have more than $100 in their pocket.

 

If you think about it, Patti might be the quintessential New York Hooker.  She's old and crumbling like this city's infrastructure.  She sometimes stinks of urine like the New York subway.  And if she throws up on you, you can smell the dirty-water hot dog she had on the way over.

 

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*The Hermit doesn't have any ill will towards Patti and hopes she is healthy and safe.  He does believe that she shouldn't be in this line of work at this stage of her life.  And if someone reading this should decide, "Hey! That old broad is for me, I've been fantasizing about my boozing, old, arteritic aunt."   Well, he hopes you take as many precautions as possible and get a checkup afterwards.

Condoms are for sailors baby, not Governors

So it's being reported that Governor Sptizer 'Client #9' requested some activities that might not be safe.  Looks like the Gov. liked to bareback his hookers.  What a guy.   This from a guy who crusaded against brothels and escort agencies.  So what was his beef then?  Maybe he was angry he couldn't get enough agencies to provide him with bareback sex.    The Hermit doesn't like to kick a man when he's down.  I mean the poor guy's political career is over.  He's just going to have to live his life on that measly 100 Million he is worth and maybe take a job at a law firm somewhere for a measly few hundred grand a year,  Boo hoo hoo.

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We're seeing pics all over of Sptizer's hooker, the famous Kristen.  Doesn't look like she's sure about what she'll do with her 15 minutes yet.  Give her time to field the offers.   Now Sptizer was supposed to be some kind of consumer advocate, remember?  So the real question is What was Spitzer doing paying nearly $5000 for about 2 hours of 'time' with this woman?  Sure she is attractive but so are millions of other hookers and most don't charge over $2000 an hour.  Seems like the Governor was price gouged.   Seems like the extra $$$$ was for the extra discretion an agency like this is supposed to provide.  Well, they failed.  He should sue them.

As for her future career, the Hermit bets even money that she will try to turn this into a recording contract.  I'd like to give a preemptive Shut The Fuck Up right now.

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Love Them Whores

A wealthy, balding, middle aged man saying he doesn't like hookers is like a pudgy, freckle faced 8 year old boy saying he doesn't like ice cream.  You know he is lying.   Former New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer went out of his way to prosecute so called prostitution rings as NYS Attorney General.  Yes yes, he vowed to put a stop to such disgusting practices.  Mr. Clean he was.   

The Hermit doesn't like to see anyone get in trouble for simply spending time with another consenting adult.  Really, this should just be an issue between Sptizer and his wife.  But I am glad that Spitzer is exposed as the hypocrite he is.  Can't feel sorry for him as he made things very difficult for people caught partaking in similar activities.      Oh, and I hope most of you realize this whole thing has nothing to do with morality or law enforcement or even ethics.  Spitzer is a very conceited man and along the way he cost some equally powerful people some money so he could advance his career.  That's a no no when dealing with the other rich and powerful.  Sometime the sharks eat their own.

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And speaking of whores, the Hermit sat through a couple hours of the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame ceremony the other night.   I watched only to see Leonard Cohen but I figured I'd have to wait through some other old foggies brag about each other.  I thought maybe I'd see some Beatles covers, maybe some 50's do-wop stuff, maybe someone like James Brown, ya know, the Godfather of Soul.  Nope, instead we were treated to Madonna, the Godmother of skanks.   And did they lay it on thick.  The way presenter, little pantywaste Justin Timberlake went on about her, you'd think she cured cancer and stopped world hunger.  Then she comes on and we get more BS straight from the skank's mouth.  Fortunately, the hermit is quite skilled at translating Bullshit to English.  I've taken a moment and translated some of her speech.

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Madonna Bullshit:   "I'd like to thank Michael Rosenblatt"

Translation:  I learned quickly to blow the right Jews

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M BS:  "I'd like to thank Seymore Stein"

Translation:  I continued to blow the right Jews

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M BS:  "I met Freddie DeMann(Michael Jackson's manager at that time) and during the drive home I convinced him to manage me."

Translation:   I put my head under the steering wheel, in his lap, and sucked his cock dry.

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M BS:  "My style changes month to month.  I'm constantly growing as an artist."

Translation:   I have no true artistic self, style or integrity so I just latch on to the latest trends very quickly so it appears I am doing something original.  The fact that I do it with my ass and tits hanging out will help distract people from this