The Hermit knows most celebrity interviews are 90% bull. He knows most famous and 'important' people don't say what they are really thinking publicly. So for his interview segments, the Hermit attaches a small hypodermic needle with sodium penthathol (the truth drug) behind the interviewee's chair so that when the subject moves, he gets a full dose and is able to do the interview honestly. For once, we get the truth. The Hermit's guest today is Fox News talk show host/commentator Bill O' Reilly.
O'Reilly's prime time news program, The O'Reilly Factor is the most watched news program on cable. Quite an accomplishment considering his program is completely uninformative and a blatant propaganda shout box. He continues to get away with presenting fictional statistics, unsubstantiated myths and fear and hate mongering as news. He presents himself as just another hard-working, middle class guy who is "looking out for you" while he pockets $20 million a year as a mouthpiece for Newscorp.
O'Reilly's deception is so blatant and obvious, it's a wonder he hasn't been exposed more often. He lies about everything from his upbringing to his political affiliation. "My family had to struggle, my father was only making 40 thousand a year," he says. But he fails to mention that 40k a year in 1961 was a lot of money (like 250k now) and his father wasn't on the ground digging for that oil company but was a top accountant for the firm instead.
He shouts and screams about people depending on the government, while thanks to generous government programs of the time, he and his family got a helping hand and even got government subsidized mortgages to live in the newly constructed suburbs.
He claims to not be a mouthpiece for the right and claims he is an independent. However, it was revealed he was a registered republican. He then says "Well, there was no independent slot to check" but the truth is there was a clear Independent slot on the registration card as the registration cards are easily obtained.
When Fox employee Andrea Mackris complained that O'Reilly harassed her, he responded by calling her a bunch of names and accusing her of attention seeking. When she announced she had a tape of his harassment, he quickly sent over the Fox lawyers to pay her and settle out of court on the condition the tape never be played and the amount of money for her to keep quiet undisclosed.
And it goes on and on. This guy is clearly a lying, deceitful, hateful man. He hosts a show that claims "the spin stops here" meanwhile all he does is spin, lie and mislead.
Hermit: Thanks for taking some time to speak with me.
Bill O'Reilly: Ok, just want to get my point across and speak spin-free and be fair and balanced.
(At this point, he leans back and gets stuck with the truth serum needle)
Bill: Ow! What the fuck was that?!?
H: Oh nothing. So tell me a little about your popular news/talk show
Bill: Well, it's just me lying, pretending to be a friend to the middle class while I convince them to support ideas and policies against their own interest. These stupid fucks buy anything. They believe all the bullshit I tell them. For their problems, we blame Mexicans, homeless, pornography, UFO's, Bigfoot, The Abominable Snowman, anything. Whenever any truth gets on, I just shout them down with "Lefty Liberal Loon!" or "Protect the Children!" and the idiots fall right in line. I just wish I would have realized how stupid the average person is decades ago so I could have started cashing in earlier.
H: Hmm, sounds pretty good for you now though. So what If you could do anything you want, what would you do? What do you fantasize about?
Bill: Well I've always fantasized about snatching little babies from their mothers and smashing their heads against a brick wall for a good laugh. Another thing I wish I could do is an actual lynching. That sounds like fun to me.
H: Tell me a little about Andrea Mackris, that lawsuit from a few years back
Bill: Well, it was a surprise really. See this cunt would shake her ass around the office and whenever I grabbed her or pulled her she would act all offended like she thought she was too good or something. So one day, I pushed her towards my desk and started to grind into her. She tried to run off but I held her down. I barely had my cock in her before she got away. Then this cock tease starts crying and acting all offended saying I was abusive. What a cunt, I only hit her 3 or 4 times and not with a fist, just with the back of my hands. She only had a couple bruises on her.
Anyway, I called her up that night to let her know what a cunt she was and you believe this bitch recorded the conversation. So I talked to the lawyers at Fox and we agreed it was best to pay this cunt a few million dollars to not ever play the tape.
H: Who do admire? Who would you like to meet?
Bill: Well of course there is Adolf Hitler and that entire group in charge at the time. I mean we really learned a lot about the effective use of Propaganda from them. You know, blaming the country's problems on one group. It's a little like what I do. I point fingers at liberals, ACLU etc and these stupid fucks eat it up. Sometimes I can't believe how easy my job is. Rupert Murdoch pays me millions of dollars a year for doing this. Sometimes when Rupert and I sneak off and spend a weekend just hanging out, you know a casual time, maybe we'd do some blow and kill a few hookers, well we would just start cracking up at how easy it all is and just how stupid the average person is. One time, we were hacking up this dead girl into several pieces (so we could fit her in the garbage container) and Rupert usually likes to drink their blood after we kill them but he couldn't even swallow her blood cause he was laughing so hard it was coming out his nose. Good times man, good times.
H: Well, I think I've had enough. Anything else you'd like to say before we end?
Bill: Yeah, don't forget to buy my latest book and listen to me on the radio and watch my program every night, you stupid bastards.
-------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
.
.
. Fun Fact
In 1999, The Economist reported that Newscorp Investments had made $2.1 Billion in profits over the previous 11 years but had paid no net corporation tax. It further reported, after an examination of the accounts, that Newscorp would have been expected to pay a corporate tax of approximately $350 million. The article explained that the corporation's complex structure, international scope and use of offshore havens allowed News Corporation to avoid taxation.
I prefer Bill Mahr or Dennis Miller - at least they make you laugh.
Posted by: George Lynch | August 29, 2008 at 09:16 AM
Never know who is gonna stop by. Who would have thought a top 80's metal guitarist would read my blog.
Posted by: HaplessHermit | September 01, 2008 at 12:58 AM