Roddy Piper Beats Hogan in the Battle of Piece of Ass Daughters
Rowdy Roddy Piper VS Hulk Hogan
Any child of the 80's remembers the pro wrestling craze of the time where champ and "good guy" Hulk Hogan fought the obnoxious, mean Rowdy Roddy Piper. But even at the tender age of 10, the Hermit was able to notice that the "good guy" Hogan was just a windbag and the real talent and charisma came from the "villain" Roddy Piper. Of course, as luck would have it, windbag, load Hogan received all the praise and $$$ while Roddy was stuck in the shadow.
Well it's a similar sitation today with both their daughters all grown up and pursuing careers in music and entertainment. Hogan's kids, spoiled, pampered, stupid fucks they are, receive lots of attention. They act as if they should be entitled to fame and fortune. We caught a glimpse of just what shit they all are when after son, reckless speed demon, Chris Hogan crashed a car going nearly 200mph and critically injured his friend in the process, Hulk went on Larry King a few weeks ago and said it was "God's plan" and some other bullshit. Yeah Hulk, it was God's plan to make your kid a douchebag and cripple an innocent passenger. See what I mean about being windbags with a sense of entitlement?
As for daughter, Brooke Hogan, she hasn't critically injured anyone yet, but with the release of her music cd, she plans to attack the ears of millions of people nationwide. Imagine all that hot air that seems to run in Hogan DNA and having it come out set to music. Pop music for teens who think Britney Spears' stuff is just way too deep.
Roddy Piper's kid, Ariel Teal Toombs is also an aspiring singer/actress. Yet we don't see her nearly as much as she is quietly trying to make it, taking parts in small budget B-movies. Well the Hermit has compared and Piper's daughter beats the daylights out of that big blonde goon.
When it comes to producing hot piece of ass, high quality blonde daughters, Roddy Piper has Hogan beat 1-2-3.
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Ariel Toombs Brooke Hogan
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It's quite obvious that while Ariel (Piper's daughter) has a heart-warming smile, Brooke Hogan has a 'mine mine mine! gimmee gimmee gimmee! stare. While neither would ever consider the Hemit for a date, the feeling is Ariel would just say "No thank you" while Brooke would say "Go fuck yourself, you ugly loser" and then go complain to her dad that there are too many ugly people in this world.
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Ariel has sultry, passionate eyes while Brooke is a big goon and has all the sensuality and grace of a spastic-child-lummox.
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AND ANOTHER THING:
BROOKE HOGAN MAY HAVE A PENIS
We've all seen 'camel toe' before but this is ridiculous. I say there is a good chance that ain't camel toe but small concealed cock.
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Oh and just a shout out to Hulk Hogan,
Whacha gonna do when your son's criminal lawyer bills, your daughter's plastic surgeon bills and your ex wife's alimony bills Run Wild On You?!?
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Great post, couldn't agree more. Although I wouldn't kick either out of be and either would you.
Posted by: Leo | July 10, 2008 at 01:32 PM
Leo, good to hear from you, how ya been? I gotta say though, I think I really might kick Hogan's kid out of bed, I don't think she would smell right.
Posted by: HaplessHermit | July 11, 2008 at 05:41 PM
Ariel is smoking hot! And sweet as pie!!!!
Posted by: Tony D' | July 15, 2008 at 03:59 PM
Yes Ariel is a hottie for sure. And unlike Brooke, she seems like she's somewhat intelligent and personable too.
Posted by: HaplessHermit | July 15, 2008 at 08:37 PM
Ariel looks foxy! I hope we get to see her in big movies sometime soon
Posted by: markS | July 17, 2008 at 01:19 PM
And to your point about Piper, he was the only reason I stayed into wrestling as long as I did. Here he calls Salvatore Bellomo a dumb wap. Can you even say that on television nowadays?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQyq36p6Nbw
Posted by: Leo | July 17, 2008 at 05:23 PM
Ariel is hot, I would screw her in a heartbeat. I'd have to be blackout drunk to touch Hogan.
Posted by: RLS | July 17, 2008 at 08:33 PM
You mean you'd go straight for her, RLS?
Posted by: Tony D' | July 18, 2008 at 06:19 PM
To Hermit: I guess your mother didn't teach you to respect women you worthless piece of trash. You lower yourself to Hogan's level with your comments which may be on the money. Not knowing either Lady I would venture to say that the children in the Hogan family have not had a great example of moral values and moderation. I have been a fan in long standing of Roddy and Hulk. Mr Piper's daughter is stunning and I'm sure that he is proud of her. So to call her a piece of *** is very disrespectful on your part. Shame on you!!!
Posted by: Mary Lou | July 24, 2008 at 11:56 PM